Reflections on Harvey Korman, 1927-2008

In this age of mediocrity, comedians seem a dime a dozen. And have you noticed most of them fail at even remotely amusing us? Anyone can call themselves a comedian these days.

And now we have lost a true comedic genius. One of my favorite comedians has left us. Harvey Korman died yesterday in Los Angeles at the age of 81.

My biggest fear is that most people under 40 might not even recognize the name. That is sad.
Usually a reference to his hysterical role in the Mel Brooks classic "Blazzing Saddles" brings out the "Oh YESSS!! THAT was Harvey Korman??"

Of course, he is probably remembered for his classic role alongside Tim Conway on "The Carol Burnett Show".

He and Tim Conway toured the nation together and performed their side splitting antics and comedic genius well into their 70s.

I had the pleasure of meeting both of them a few years back at a show in Sacramento.

I begged and begged to be let backstage to meet my comedic mentors. The P.R. Department kept telling me my chances were 50-50.

The day of the show I STILL had not heard back from anyone, telling me one way or the other what they had decided.

Would I meet two of my favorite comedians in the world?

I walked up to the stage door and presented myself humbly. They remembered my name and my efforts to meet these gentlemen had impressed them it turns out.

They stepped away to ask them how they felt about a visitor and to my absolute joy, they agreed to a meet and greet.

And there they were. Two comedic giants standing before me. Two men I had grown up watching on television and in the movies. Two men who had shaped my comedic heart and soul forever and in ways they could never understand were shaking my trembling but firm hand and talking to me!

By the way, it was a classic performance and I am so glad I made the time to go see them. I would have regretted it if I hadn't.

As for all the talk about "Blazzing Saddles" being his funniest film, I disagree. Of all the Mel Brooks movies he stared in, I think his performance as the corrupt psychiatrist in "High Anxiety" was his best and most underrated role. Watch it and get ready to laugh till you hurt.

Thank you, Harvey Korman, for making me laugh. For lightening my load. For teaching me how true comedy is crafted and perfected.

And thank you, most of all, for giving me the chance to look you in the eye and thank you myself for all those years of laughter and fun.

You will be missed.

Shades of Grey

Aliens are real.

Just ask Jeff Peckman of Colorado.

He claims to have videotaped a "Grey" alien in a video that will be unveiled to officials tomorrow. The rest of us will have to wait for a while.

I believe in extraterrestrial life. We can't be the only life in this vast universe. But does it help Peckman's credibility that he is pushing for a Denver ballot initiative that would create an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission??

Doesn't that sound a little NUTTY??

But if he is convinced his discovery is real, then it would stand to reason that he believes the government should have a department in place to deal with alien life, right?

By the way, an instructor at the Colorado Film School claims the video is real. Well, of course, the VIDEO is real. But nowadays it is so easy to create or manipulate reality any way that you choose to.

Look at movies like E.T. and CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND. Those were YEARS ago and the creatures look pretty darned real to me. I have seen people with Photoshop and video editing skills create virtual miracles that would have stumped me.

So does this video really show a genuine space alien? Who knows. That will be up to the experts to decide.

In the meantime, I want to believe.

I really do.

And now if you'll excuse me. I need to beam back up to the mothership and finish my show prep.

One Word Not To Utter In San Francisco: Plastics

San Francisco residents are now safe from the evils of plastic grocery bags.

Or better put, Mother Earth is now safe from these dastardly demons.

Plastic bags already bowed and exited from large supermarkes when the San Francisco ban went into effect six months ago.

But now big drugstores like Rite Aid and Walgreens will be prevented from offering them. Can you imagine this??

Yes, this is one of those "Only in San Francisco" topics, although the trend has started to catch on elsewhere. Soon it will be across the country before we know it.

San Francisco is the city of my birth. I spent the first 24 years of my life there. And it makes me mad that the city chose to rid itself of plastic bags before ridding itself of dirty needles in the city parks. Before getting the drug addicts and winos off the streets. Before controlling graffiti and crime.

Recently while spending the night in our apartment in the City, we heard what sounded like AK-47s going off. But never mind that.

At least the City has gotten rid of a much more dangerous culprit. Plastic bags! Hip, hip, hooray!

Maybe they can ban the Board of Stupervisors next.

Post script: Know what I did last night? I did some MAJOR grocery shopping in a city just outside of San Francisco's Stupidity Sphere and bagged my groceries in DOUBLE LAYERED plastic bags. Even for groceries that weren't all that heavy.

I hope my Mother Earth can forgive me someday.

A Fear Confronted

Anyone who has listened to my show even casually knows I have a fear of swimming.

Probably because I never learned HOW to. It's a long and typical story but my fears were born in childhood and proved hard to shake nearly 40 years later.

That is, until yesterday.

It was 100 degrees plus over the weekend and the kids were having a field day in the pool.

My five-year-old learned to swim yesterday and I marveled at how fast he picked it up. He was literally fearless as he went all the way across to the deep end, with Mommy close by just in case.

After everyone had pretty much wrapped up the evening and gone inside, I decided to face my fears head on. I started by dipping my head under the water. Then I did it without plugging my nose.

Then I realized, before I even knew it, I was swimming.

SWIMMING.

Then I went from one end of the shallow end to the other. Back and forth. I was out there for more than an hour. I didn't want to come in.

I am already looking forward to going into the pool later and learning some more.

I did something that scared me this weekend. And I overcame a huge, life long fear.

And it felt, and still feels, awesome.

Do something today that scares you. And it will make you feel stronger than you ever thought possible.

My Masculinity At Stake AGAIN

It always happens this way.

Just as my masculinity recovers itself, there is something that happens to threaten it once more.

Now there is a list of the Top 10 Unmanliest Drinks In The World.

Great.

And you guessed it, yours truly has had more than a few on the list from time to time.

What's wrong with a wine spritzer?? It can get to be 112 in the summer where I live. Let me cool down with a wine spritzer if I want to!

Cranberry juice with vodka? Forget about it.

And if the women from "Sex In The City" drink Cosmos, that means us men should leave them alone. But they are SO GOOD! Why is it that I feel I have to steal a taste from my Better Half when no one is looking?

I can't help it. I love drinks that come with plastic swords and paper umbrellas. They are fruity and refreshing and yummy.

Oh, by the way. The survey also includes ANYTHING with Diet Coke in it. And even WATER.

So no man is safe.

Thank God no one saw me be the only male at a golf tournament fundraiser this week who was drinking Bud Light Lime. I kept the bottle carefully hidden at just the right angle. While the other men indulged in testostore favorites, I was really digging that beer. Fruity. Refreshing. Yummy.

And now if you'll excuse me, I think I will make myself a virgin Apple-tini as I continue with my show prep.

When Things Happen Out of the Blue

I got an e-mail this morning from an old colleague and friend. We haven't been in touch in literally years. We lost track of each other long ago and all of a sudden there was an e-mail from him.

But WAS it all of a sudden?

As anyone who has listened to my show in the last year or so knows, I am a recent student of the Law of Attraction. Some people call it "The Secret" but it really shouldn't be that big of a secret at all. It's the basic law of the universe. Like attracts like.

And you become what you think about most of the time.

You can even ask my producers if this isn't true--not one month ago I asked them to help me track down the above mentioned colleague from my past. At best, we were only able to pin him down to the last place he worked and the leads I followed up on proved a waste of time.

Then today it all changed. HE contacted ME.

Coincidence? I can't prove it one way or the other. All I can say is I once would have believed that. But not anymore.

It happens way too often to be a mere coincidence.

Hasn't that ever happened to you? Try it. Think of an old friend or family member you haven't talked to in a long time. Focus on them. Focus on getting connected again with them.

Then sit back and be shocked. Somewhere, sometime, and somehow, you will be reconnected with that person.

They will call you out of the blue. Or e-mail, as was the case for me this morning. Maybe someone will bring up their name in conversation. Maybe someone you don't even KNOW will be an associate or friend of that person and put you in touch with them.

Some call it 6 degrees of separation. Call it what you want. The universe doesn't make mistakes when it comes to stuff like this, I am now sure of it.

Haven't you ever hummed or whistled a tune and then found it UNAVOIDABLE all day long on the radio? It just keeps PLAYING over and over again.

That, too, I once attributed to mere chance. But I think there is more to it than that.

We emit, like all energy sources, endless vibrations. And sometimes we are vibrating out of sync with what we want. Those are the days when NOTHING goes right. NOTHING seems to fit. We are square pegs trying to fit in round holes on days like that.

Then there are days when EVERYTHING falls into place. When we are truly happy with ourselves and our place. Those are the days without bills in the mailbox and a parking space just for you everywhere you go. The kids don't fight and the traffic is light.

That's the difference, I believe, between sending out vibrations that are contrary to the hum of the day and those that are in TUNE with the hum of the day.

So start humming that song and thinking of that friend.

And maybe, just maybe, you will be amazed by these small but miraculous wonders that make life the great adventure that it is.

America, I'm Going Home

I never used to watch AMERICAN IDOL. I passed on it the first few seasons. I ended up enjoying the music of Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood (call me a metrosexual, if you INSIST), without ever having watched them from the auditions to their final, glorious moments.

But all that changed a couple of seasons ago. My Better Half finally got me to sit down and watch it. And I LOVED it. Not a love on the level of a platter of barely pan seared fresh ahi tuna, but it was a love nonetheless.

I became hooked and got upset when I missed an episode.

But now, America, I am...going home. I have officially retired from the rest of this season of the show.

Why?

Because AMERICAN IDOL fans at home have voted to keep the four most annoying and least talented (in my opinion, of course) singers they could possibly have kept.

This week saw the expulsion of my Better Half's favorite and mine, Brooke White.

She was the only elegant one of the bunch. The only one whose voice really touched us, moved us...entertained us. We were both sure she would go all the way.

But this week, she went home. And so have I.

I cannot stand the insane cuteness that people see in David "I finally stopped licking my lips three episodes ago" Archuleta, the kid who looks 7-years-old. It's hard to Google images of actor Robert Blake when he was a child star in the Bogart classic "Treasure of the Sierra Madre", but the two are DEAD RINGERS for each other.

Jason Castro--Mr. Dreadlocks--reminded me too much, no offense, of the street urchins who plagued me for money on the street corners of Berkeley during my sentence there. Some of them played a guitar, others just held their hand out for money. But he reminds me of every single one of them. Plus every song he sang sounded EXACTLY the same to me. But the chicks dug him, for whatever reason, and the voters at home as well.

Syesha Mercado was tremendously overrated from day one, in my opinion. I never found her exceptionally talented, and never dreamed she would make the top 20, let alone the final 4.

And then there is, arguably, THE most annoying IDOL contestant EVER...David "I'm trying to look like Axle Rose from Guns N' Roses" Cook. WOW. I thought I could be annoying sometimes. How about ALL the time?? From his arrogant productions to his cliched voice, David Cook reminded me of all the junk you hear on the radio. It all sounds the same after a while.

So...the final four contestants remind me of how many people must feel about the Presidential candidates. These are your choices...you don't really like any of them...but you have to support SOMEBODY, right?

Nah. You, too America, can decide to go...home.

And with finalists like this, home might not be such a bad place to be. Maybe next time will be better.