Tragedy At The Zoo

Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my parents taking me to frequent adventures to the San Francisco Zoo.

A lot has changed since those days of a bright eyed little boy with a Zoo Key in one hand and pink popcorn in the other. Exhibits have come and gone, and so have some of the animals. Elephants are a thing of the past at the San Francisco Zoo, thanks to animal rights fanatics.

And the tigers might be next after the horrifying maulings that took place on Christmas that left a teenager dead and his friends seriously wounded.

As a father who grew up going to the zoo and who now takes his own children several times a year with a yearly pass, the image of a tiger on the loose is as terrifying as they come. It was sad enough when a trainer was mauled in front of patrons (by the same tiger that was shot and killed in this latest incident) at the daily feeding in the Lion House. That kind of a scene could surely result in years of therapy, especially for the youngest of the witnesses. But a tiger on the LOOSE?? It's what horror movies are made of.

But how did this happen? The blame has gone from fingers pointed at the zoo, to the victims, and now back to the zoo again. The tiger was taunted. The fence was too low. The tiger acted in self defense. The zoo was negligent.

Now we are told that the sole fatality was trying to save his friends when he himself was mauled to death. The other two young men took off to a nearby cafe, only to be chased down by the big cat. Thanks to the efforts of the San Francisco Police Department, the two were saved before the tiger had a chance to kill them, too. It was a close call, indeed.

But I have some nagging questions. According to the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the walls surrounding the tiger exhibit were four feet shorter than what is required.

So how come such a horrible tragedy hadn't struck the zoo in the wall's almost 70 year existence?? Why now would a tiger all of a sudden be able to leap that far and escape? It makes NO logical sense.

And why all of a sudden does it seem that authorities are downplaying reports of a shoe and blood being found IN the base of the moat within the habitat? Alongside pine cones and rocks that COULD NOT have gotten there naturally? Those are indications that the tiger was harassed. But we aren't hearing about that anymore. Maybe because it becomes less of a "sexy" news story if it's less of an "animals gone crazy" and more of "what do you expect when you tick a tiger off" story. Maybe some questions will never be answered.

I will still take my children to the San Francisco Zoo despite this bloody rampage. I will do it in the same way that I drive my children to school despite the fact that countless people die on roadways every single day.

But mark my words...despite their silence so far, PETA and other animal rights groups will use this as an excuse to pressure zoos into closing such exhibits. It would be a shame if this happened because captive animals generally live longer and healthier lives than they would in the wild.

And it's one of the few places a family can go to see some of nature's most awesome creatures.

Here's a conspiracy theory no one has posed yet and another thing to place the blame on--maybe it has never happened before because today's tigers are on steroids like many professional athletes.

Was Tatiana the 350 pound Siberian tiger named in the Mitchell report? Hey, it's not any crazier than all of the other theories and questions.

We've All Gone Fruit Loops!

I hate the loop. The one at school, I mean. You know? Where kids get dropped off and picked up by caffeine deprived (or poisoned, depending on the day) parents who somehow acquired selective amnesia about driving the moment they pulled into the parking lot?

Whew. It was exhausting just WRITING that last sentence. It's even more mentally fatiguing LIVING it everyday.

What is WRONG with people? Why do they turn into imbeciles like that? Especially since it is a ritual they perform EVERY DAY. It's not like it gets harder with time! It's the SAME THING over and over and over again. Drive up to the FRONT of the line...drop off or pick up your kids as quickly as possible...then drive off again, letting the people behind you (yes, there are OTHER people out there, too) do the same thing. If we were only so lucky to be able to practice something this many times each year, like a sport or a hobby!

But it's not just in the school parking lot or loop that parents have lost their minds and gone completely crazy.

Wait till you see what happens IN the school!

We went to a school Christmas pageant (excuse me...HOLIDAY musical) the other day for our boys. We watched as our 8-year-old sang his heart out on the big stage. And lo and behold, a six foot tall dad walked in front of us as we sat on the gym floor and loomed overhead like the son of Kong. He did everything but rip tiny people out of upper stories and eat them.

What was he THINKING???? Answer: he WASN'T!

Fast forward to this past Tuesday night. The city of High Point, North Carolina hit a LOW point when a verbal argument among parents turned into a physical altercation. You can see the video on the Internet.

It's absolutely SHAMELESS. You can see the look of shock on the faces of the grade school kids who were there just to have a good time.

Instead, their evening was ruined by sophomoric so-called ADULTS losing control. That's a case where the children could have taken the parents outside for a time out. Honestly.

We are losing our civility in this country and it is undeniable. You see it everywhere. Blame whoever or whatever you like for it, but it's happening. And it's so sad to see.

And now if you'll excuse me, there are drivers to be cut off and children to be embarrassed.

Got a PROBLEM with that?!?!

Got Christmas Cards?

It looks like we finished 99% of our Christmas cards and they are heading to the nearest mailbox sometime today.

I am HORRIBLE at writing Christmas cards. Thank goodness my Better Half is so good about getting them done and mailed every year.

Christmas cards seem destined to be a dying tradition. Does anyone really care about them anymore? It's sad, isn't it?

I remember as a kid how Christmas cards would cover our mantle and then the spill-over were taped alongside the fireplace. So many cards. Did we really know THAT many people?

And they were all different, in a way representing the personalities of the people who sent them. There were the Frosty the Snowman cards, the Christian cards, the Happy Holidays cards. But they were all vibrant and crisp and I loved rushing to the mailbox to see who had sent one that day.

This year we sent off a simple greeting on a glossy picture stock with all the kids smiling to friends and family.

I hope Christmas cards don't go the way of the soda fountain. They symbolize a day before
e-mail and Blackberries, when people used to have to sit down, take out a pen, write down a message, write down an address, lick the envelope AND the stamp, and send it off.

When was the last time you received an actual LETTER from someone? An actual personalized greeting?

In an age of spam and junk mail, it would be nice to open up that mailbox and find something just for you, wouldn't it? But for most of us, if we threw out all the junk mail, the bills, and the sales pitches, there would be literally nothing else for us to bring into the house.

So send those Christmas cards out and keep the tradition alive. And if you never have, what better time than now to start?

Christmas Songs Worthy Of Coal

Not all Christmas songs are equal. That's very important to remember.

Edison Media Research and Pinnacle Media Worldwide found that people still prefer the classics when it comes to their favorite yuletide tunes.

Each survey found "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby, "The Christmas Song" by Nat King Cole, and "A Holly, Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives at the top of the list of favorites.

There's nothing like a nice Christmas song on a cold night by the fire. Throw in a hot rum and your sweetheart and what could be better?

Nothing to ruin such a magical moment.

Except for one thing...

The AWFUL Christmas songs.

These surveys reassured me that I am not the only Grinch when it comes to some of the overplayed and annoying variations of songs.

People tend to dislike "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" by Elmo & Patsy and "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" by Bruce Springsteen.

The top most hated Christmas song? "Jingle Bells" by those annoying Singing Dogs.

As for MY most hated Christmas song?

"Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano!!

It's endlessly annoying AND bilingual! What a great combination! Let's make Spencer cringe in TWO languages!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish my eggnog before my Sinatra Christmas CD ends.

Is This What Little Girls Are Made Out Of?

Have you ever tried to buy clothes for a little girl? It’s hard to find anything that is halfway decent. Everything is slinky, frilly, or flirty. Sometimes all of the above.

What on earth is our society thinking? What are WE thinking? After all, WE collectively are to blame because SOMEBODY is buying this stuff. Either parents are buying it or the girls are buying it for themselves. I am not sure sometimes which is more reprehensible.

Wal-Mart stores pulled some pink panties marketed to young girls which read on the front “Who needs credit cards…” and on the backside “When you have Santa”.

In other words, every girl needs a Sugar Daddy…even young girls who may not even have reached puberty yet.

Why did they pull them? Because some parents are finally stepping up to the plate and saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

This is just a first step. There are still mountains of thong underwear aimed at young grade school girls. Tight belly shirts still abound the malls.

But it’s only because parents have become too permissive. Your daughter wants to go to school looking like a slimy Bratz doll? SURE! Let me buy you matching outfits!

Kudos to the parent who protested these perverted panties. We need more just like them. Armies more.

STOP SEXUALIZING OUR DAUGHTERS!

Take a stand. Put your money where your mouth is. And maybe, just maybe, parents will once again be able to find decent clothes for their daughters.

Be Somebody!! Even If It's Somebody Else!!

Wearing costumes was too good to save for just Halloween when I was a kid. It was not out of the ordinary to find a young Spencer Hughes wearing an old Batman Cooper Costume around San Francisco in the middle of July.

I look back and I think: "How embarrassing!"

But I was a kid!! I didn't have inhibitions yet! Watch a child sometime...they do funny and embarrassing things all the time and they don't care!

One of my favorite comedic characters is Tony Clifton, the alter ego of the late great comedian Andy Kaufman. Clifton is worth doing a "You Tube" search if you are not acquainted with him. Although he may not be for the faint of heart or the thin skinned. You see, Tony always said what was on his mind. He didn't care what ANYBODY thought about him. It was always "their loss" if they didn't understand him.

After years of toying with the idea, I recently decided to go for it. My Sweetie spent a bit of time on e-Bay and ended up ordering me all the components of a Tony Clifton outfit.

I have never had more fun in my life playing harmless pranks on unsuspecting people around me!

You see, when I was a kid and wore that Batman costume...I BECAME the Caped Crusader. And now as an alleged adult, I become Tony when I don the wig, mustache, aviator glasses, and bad, smelly smoking jackets!

This weekend I tricked my own MOTHER! It took her ten minutes to figure out it was her one and only son under the disguise and the attitude.

I find that doing this is very therapeutic to play "Uncle Tony" once in awhile. Even the kids love it. They go from being not too sure to wanting to come up and give him (me) a hug. And sometimes the wig and mustache go missing. Hmmmmmm.

Everybody needs a crazy Uncle Tony. And sometimes...everybody needs to BE a crazy Uncle Tony.

So whip out that spirit gum and fake mustache and go to town.

My in-laws want to treat Uncle Tony to a night on the town. Even if it means being possibly thrown out of the restaurant.

But I will hold back and get as close to the edge without falling off of it.

And I thought hosting a radio show was good therapy!!

So BE somebody! Even if it's somebody else! Even if it's just at a family get together to fool your own parents!

It's more liberating that you can possibly imagine!

Gas Is Good

Gas is good.

No, not that kind of gas. The kind that goes into you car. The kind that keeps the world spinning around.

It makes so many things work. And it is so expensive with no relief in sight.

So why not ask Santa for a fill-up at the tank this Christmas? Heck, it beats another dozen socks or a ceramic frog you have no clue what to do with.

WCVB-TV in Boston reports that more and more people are giving the gift of gas. Wouldn't YOU welcome a gas card as a gift? Heck a few years ago it might have made a nice stocking stuffer. Now with prices seemingly climbing all the time, it makes a nice UNDER THE TREE gift.

I don't think most of us stop and consider what it costs to fill up our cars. That is, if we still FILL UP our cars. It is very rare that we fill the tank completely. Usually we'll put in $40 and cross our fingers that it gets us half a tank.

A boston gas station owner is expecting this year a 30% increase in gas card sales.

So if you're debating one of those 9 million gift cards at the checkout stand...give the gift of gas.

They'll love you for it.

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

The expression "put your best foot forward" always seemed a little odd to me, considering we don't have more than two feet. But I think we all understand the meaning: to jump into any endeavor with enthusiasm and positive mental attitude.

And a person in the news who is doing exactly that is not only someone you have never heard of, it's someone who doesn't really have a best foot to give.

You see, Wang Fang is a waitress in China who was born with her feet facing the wrong way. Imagine looking down at your toes and not seeing them because they were BEHIND you!

Since birth, doctors worried that she would not be able to walk.

Now she is 27 and not willing to do what so many of us would have done long ago in her situation--feel sorry for herself.

Not only does she not fret about her physical disability, she is not even willing to label herself as disabled.

Good for her. She can actually walk as well as others. And according to her family, she can outrun most of them!

So let's get this straight...a woman is born with a physical deformity, learns to deal with this adversity, and ends up turning it into something positive and inspiring!

How many of US would turn away a disability check when the state says we are entitled to one? How many of us don't wake up EVERY DAY feeling down and out about the silliest of things.

"Oh, no! My lipstick broke!"

"Oh, no! My car broke down!"

"Oh, no! I'm not rich enough, good looking enough, smart enough, or special enough to get what I want in life!"

Call the Whambulance, please.

Next time you stub your toe or flunk a test or think there are so many things keeping you from what you want, remember the story of Wang Fang.

And remember that your feet can physically get you places, but it's your heart and soul that do the steering.

More Elusive Than Bigfoot!

Skeptics of Bigfoot, UFOs, and other paranormal phenomenon always like to use the argument: "Where's the photographic proof??"

It's true. Out of the zillions of such eye-witness sightings, few solid and compelling photographs have materialized.

But let me make a point with my own anecdotal example. Sometimes even if you have a camera always handy, you can miss the money shot quite easily.

My Better Half insisted that our baby girl starting smiling several weeks back...when she was barely TWO WEEKS OLD.

Of course, I was skeptical. It just wasn't possible! Babies aren't "supposed" to start smiling till around six weeks, on average.

"It must be gas!" I insisted. Even when some of the kids saw the supposed smile, I couldn't get myself to believe it. I started sounding like Men In Black: "That was a weather balloon you saw, not a UFO."

Well, I have now seen it with my own eyes! And even her doctor was amazed. It is very rare for babies to start smiling THAT young.

Even though between us this is our sixth child, we still run around with a camera around our necks acting like the stereotypical first time parents. We can't take enough pictures of God's little masterpiece.

HUNDREDS of attempts later, STILL no photographic evidence of a smile! She would get stubborn. The camera would get stubborn and freeze up or take forever to snap, always at the worst possible times!

But this morning...it finally happened...something more elusive than Bigfoot!

A picture of our smiling baby girl! I made an idiot out of myself and, as usual, it worked!

And this time, Mom was around to snap the picture. I have included it in this blog. Hope it makes YOU smile, too.

And now if you'll excuse me, there is a gigantic serpent like creature in our swimming pool and the camera just finished charging.

Who's Your Daddy?

A British study finds that one in four children do not consider their own fathers to be "close" family.

More boys surveyed chose a soccer star as their role model over their own fathers.

This is a sad reflection on the culture of fatherhood, British or American.

It has been assumed for a long time that fathers aren't as important to their children and their developments as mothers are. And look at the results. We reap what we sow.

Fathers are often too busy...at work, at play, at SOMETHING. But you are never too busy to be their for your children.

When I first got divorced, my children's peers asked them when they would ever see me. The biggest fear a child can have after a marital split is that they are not going to ever be with one of their parents. Or that the back and forth will diminish time spent with their parents.

It's true ONLY if you make it so. I spend more quality time with my children now than I ever did when I shared the same address with them full time.

Time is what you make of it. I still know some fathers who are NEVER at school plays, sports, or birthday parties. I used to drive 240 miles roundtrip just to spend 2-3 hours with my kids.

Meanwhile, I knew plenty of fathers who LIVED with their kids and didn't ever spend that long of a stretch with their own children. Even in a WHOLE WEEK!

This study is distressing. But it is not shocking. Dads need to stand up and be fathers to their children. And the system needs to be changed so that able and loving fathers ARE allowed to spend more time with their children, even after a divorce.

So work hard and bring home the bacon. But never, ever miss your child's birthday, graduation, or other milestones of life. You may not remember someday that you did.

But your children will never forget.

And they need to consider you close family...because you ARE.

Luckily more and more fathers are making the choice to stay at home as much as they can. It's a great thing to see, and a societal reminder that fathers are just as important as mothers in the emotional, physical, and spiritual well being and upbringing of children.