Voter ID Is a Great Idea

May I see your ID, please?

We all hear this all day long, don't we?

At the bank. At the hospital. At the car rental agency. When opening up any sort of account.

Even at the video store.

But one place where showing your picture ID has been missing in far too many places for far too long has been the voting booth!

It has always seemed strange to me, but also downright un-American, that you could be able to cast a VOTE and not have to prove you are the person the polling place thinks you are!

I have NEVER been asked to show my ID before voting. NEVER. That goes from local school board elections all the way up to Presidential races. NEVER.

Well, the practice of requiring ID will hopefully become far more common after a reasonable Supreme Court ruling this week that upheld Indiana's voter identification law.

It was refreshing to see one of the more more liberal of the Justices, John Paul Stevens, wrote the opinion of the majority in the 6-3 decision.

I say refreshing because it tends to be leftists in America who are so passionately fighting AGAINST such requirements!

They claim, falsely, that whole segments of our society--the poor, minorities, and the disabled--are being DISENFRANCHISED from voting!

What NONSENSE! NO ONE in this country is being disenfranchised. That is a fighting word that unfortunately most people cannot define accurately.

To disenfranchise someone is to take away their right to vote. NO ONE is having this done to them, except for some people in prison who LOST their right to vote through their own actions.

But no poor person, minority, or diabled person is being kept from voting because they would have to show proper ID.

Can you imagine how insulting such an insinuation is on the FACE of it?? These groups cannot afford or acquire a simple PHOTO ID??

Loudmouth liberals and partisan democrats insist it is a GOP plot to keep people from voting.

The reality is that these politicians and spokespeople ought to give the groups they represent more credit than they do.

Voting is a right that people fought for over a long period of time. Many in the world don't even have the right. They have no say.

We DO.

And isn't that worth having to show a simple ID card for?

If we are willing to show it to rent a silly movie, we should be honored to have to show it to cast a vote in the greatest nation that has ever been.

Watch Me Pull an 8-Foot Straw Out of My Hat!

I finally decided to do it. I jumped back into the wonderful world of magic.

It had been a very long hiatus. My oldest daughter (who is going to be 10 this year) was barely a toddler when I last had frequented my local magic shop.

Last night I performed some new tricks I recently purchased and the look on my children's faces told me I had made the right decision.

Kids need magic. Heck, adults need it, too.

In this fast paced world of ours, there seems to be fewer and fewer things that truly AMAZE us. Are you REALLY amazed by much out there? Mystified??

With all the technical gizmos and video games and modern day amusements that my kids have, I don't remember seeing their jaws drop quite as much as when I pulled an 8-foot beverage straw out of a fast food bag last night.

Now THAT'S magic.

And the beauty of magic performed correctly is that your mind concludes it has just witnessed something that is NOT POSSIBLE.

There is NO way that card could have appeared inside the locked box. There is NO way that the coin could have jumped from spectator to spectator. There is NO way that a woman just got sawed in half and put back together.

And there is CERTAINLY NO WAY that a radio talk show host pulled the biggest straw ever out of an 8 inch deep bag.

Yes. There IS a way.

With magic, there always is.

When Driving Goes to the Dogs

One of the most idiotic sights I will ever see in my life is a person driving with a dog on their lap.

What is the purpose of this??

One thing is to take your pal on outings to the beach or the store, but why must the beast ride ON YOUR LAP??

My family and I nearly got into an accident over the weekend because of a moron who felt it necessary to let his DOG drive with him! Not alongside him. Not in the back seat. Not in the wayback.

ON HIS LAP.

How is this allowed?

Well, in California, it might not be allowed for much longer.

Can you believe we need legislation to stop such irresponsible, dangerous, and foolish behavior?

Assembly Bill 2233 would make it illegal to carry a live animal on your lap while behind the wheel. Considering it's California, they ought to be more clear because people might try to carry a "dead" animal on their lap while behind the wheel.

Too bad the infraction would only warrant a base fine of $35. That's a flea on a Doberman. We need it to be more like $2,000 if you ask me.

There is no reason you need an animal on your lap while driving a car. It's dangerous AND ridiculous.

And if the bill becomes law--which I pray that it will--and Fido protests, tell 'em you are working hard on legislation that will allow YOU to sit on HIS lap while HE is driving the car.

That way, neither one of you will suffer from separation anxiety.

Why Sex Offenders Need To Be Locked Up

What is the best way to keep a repeat offender from breaking the law?

Make it so they can't break the law anymore!

How? By locking them up. For a long time. Maybe forever. Whatever it takes so that they don't keep preying on innocent people.

I saw a story this week that really angered me about a guy named Freddie Johnson.

This creature has been arrested 53 times, most of the infractions involving the groping of female passengers on the New York subway.

FIFTY THREE TIMES. How many times have YOU been arrested? I have NEVER been arrested.

But I would expect the system to have thrown me AND the key away long before the 53rd arrest.

It is a fact that many crimes are committed by a select group of people over and over and over again. It's the result of our revolving door justice system.

The good news is that if found guilty in this latest incident, Johnson could go to prison for LIFE.

The bad news is that this registered sex offender got himself in this hot water TWO WEEKS after being released from prison after serving 4 years for persistent sexual abuse!

The bad news is that despite recommendations from the state's attorney general's office that Johnson be confined under a recently passed sex offender law because they saw him as a risk, a judge decided electronic monitoring and strict supervision was enough. Apparently, that WASN'T enough, was it?

The bad news is, far too many people had to fall victim to this guy before the system paid attention.

Let's hope the system doesn't blow it again.

Your CLOTHES Don't Fit You Anymore??

"My clothes don't fit me anymore!"

My wild imagination conjures images of halter tops, blue jeans, and business suits conspiring against their owner in the darkness of the crowded closet.

"Psssst! What do you say we shrink a couple of sizes by morning so that when she reaches for the ensemble of the day, they fit her like Saran Wrap!!" cackles the flowery skirt to the mishievous silk blouse.

Or maybe the dress shirt shrinks to a size 14 neck just to spite the man headed to his much anticipated job interview!

Nope.

This doesn't happen. At least not outside of my warped head.

But people--and I am guilty of this at times myself--love to use the phrase "my clothes don't fit me anymore!"

The hard part to swallow here is that unless you ran your clothes through the wrong cycle or misread the care instructions, your clothes had little to do with the fact that you needed a shoe horn to fit into them this morning. And even in those examples, YOU are the one who screwed up.

You see, clothes don't stop fitting you anymore than clutter piles up on your desk. Dishes don't hold meetings on your kitchen counters and bills don't stack up on their own.

There is no mystery here.

YOU are the one doing all of this.

Yes, GASP, YOU are the one who doesn't fit YOUR clothes anymore!

While your clothes sat there waiting to be worn, YOU decided to have an extra slice of cake at the company birthday party. YOU decided that watching the ballgame was more important than the evening walk with the family. YOU decided to let yourself go.

YOU are the one who betrayed YOUR clothes! Not the other way around!

Sometimes, if you are lucky, you find that your clothes fit a little LOOSER, not tighter.

That's when you can set aside the exercise, the sensible diet, change in lifestyle, and head to the closet to thank all of your clothes for fitting you so nicely all of a sudden.

After all, THEY get all the blame when things go wrong. So why not shower them with the credit sometimes, too?

The self esteem of your sweats will never be the same again.

The Ugliest Building In The World

OK, it's true I haven't been to every country on earth, let alone seen every building on earth.

But I am still more than a little confident that I have seen the ugliest building in the world. And it's in the once majestic city of my birth, San Francisco.

The M.H. de Young Museum in Golden Gate Park was once a glorious edifice that was demolished after the 1989 earthquake damaged it beyond repair. It was replaced by a horrifyingly ugly "thing" that now sits in the park like a heap of space junk that feel from the stars.

But I digress because as ugly as the de Young is, it is not the ugliest by far.

That honor would rest with the new Federal Building south of Market.

I cannot speak for other cities in America. I can't even really speak for THE City. But I can tell you one thing for sure--style and taste apparently are no longer considerations when designing buildings in San Francisco. (But luckily for our dying earth, GREEN is a consideration, as there is no air conditioning in the building and elevators stop only every three floors to promote wellness.)

But I digress.

This building, in my opinion, is an insult to architecture itself. Gone is the style and elegance that once graced San Francisco's buildings. It is the greatest eyesore I have ever seen.

Everyone I know who has seen it asks the same question: Is it FINISHED?? Why is there still scaffolding on the sides of the building? That's not scaffolding. And yes, it IS finished. That ugly, mesh look is the same look that is afflicting the de Young Museum in Golden Gate Park. I have never dabbled in designing buildings, but my gut tells me it's not a good sign if the casual onlooker can't even tell if your work is COMPLETE.

Is this the style of buildings of the future? Then get me a time machine and let me blast to the past. I don't want any part of it.

It astounds me that a city that would take a stand on preserving a "Doggie Diner" sign wouldn't take an equal stand in trying to preserve a sense of architectural dignity in a once beautiful city.

I grimace at the thought of future architects trying to "one up" the Golden Gate Bridge or the Palace of Fine Arts. Maybe the talent pool just isn't there any more. Or maybe I am just old and cranky and have no taste.

AM I out of line? Or do you, too, get the impression that buildings are just slapped together these days like a 7-year-old making a ham and cheese sandwich?

I'll have the prime rib, please. And take your time cooking it, OK?

Petraeus, the War, & Faulty Thinking

As I write this, General David Petraeus is trying to convince ever skeptical democrats that the surge in Iraq has worked and that progress has been made since he last addressed them in September of 2007.

His time is likely to be wasted since nothing to date has been able to change the mind of the most stubborn skeptics.

On and off the air, I hear people saying things like "You can't fight a war on "terror" because you can't fight a war against an "idea" or a broad concept such as "terror"!"

Oh really!

Then why have these same lefties spent TRILLIONS of our dollars on the WAR ON POVERTY?

Poverty is pretty broad, too, isn't it? And in America, as I have endlessly argued, it is largely a concept that is self created. Poverty is largely, I believe, a "malady of the mind". We do not have famines in America. We do not have government regimes plowing through our farms and stealing our property and pride.

So, why have they condoned spending so much money on this futile fight? Do we not still have poor people today? Is there any evidence that the policies of LBJ make millionaires out of the poor and oppressed? Who has really been helped? And at what expense?

These are the questions you are not allowed to ask, lest you be labeled a heretic by the Left.

But honestly, if we wanted to really "solve" poverty, why not just write a check to every poor person in America. Maybe for $100, 000 each? Or maybe $500,000 each. Hey, why not ONE MILLION DOLLARS?

Because that wouldn't end poverty. It might end someone's short term financial problems, that's for sure.

But a person with "impoverished" thoughts will never be rich. It is against every law of the universe.

That's why reckless and irresponsible people can win the lottery or sign a $20 million baseball contract and still be asking for a handout in a matter of years, if it even takes that long.

So if you can't fight a war on "terror", how can you fight a war on "poverty"? And why aren't the costs of the latter EVER allowed to come up the way we are nickle and dimed with countless studies on how much "the war" is costing us?

Sorry. I forgot. You aren't supposed to ask stuff like that.

Baby Beluga

Our precious baby girl will be getting her first dip in the family swimming pool this summer. Or maybe sooner if global warming will kick in finally. It's FREEZING outside.

But many pediatricians will no doubt frown upon our decision because Baby Beluga is only going to be around 7 months old. That is way too young according to the American Academy of Pediatrics!

They believe that "children are not developmentally ready for formal swimming lessons until after their fourth birthday"!

We're not expecting her to swim laps or even hold her breath at her age. Our plan is merely to acclimate her to water (the way we have to a lesser degree in the tub) so that she doesn't end up like her father.

GASP.

Like her father??

Yes. Like me.

I am scared to death of water.

Well, I like thundershowers and a good soak in the tub with candles and classical music.

But I don't like deep bodies of water. Like the deep end of our pool. You see, I never was taught to swim when I was younger. I was never really made to feel comfortable in water. And it didn't help that some jerk knocked me into a pool when I was very young and the experience scarred me for life.

I don't want our daughter to end up petrified like me. All of our kids are natural born swimmers. They learned to love water, not be phobic of it.

Yes, it may be statistically true that drowning is still the leading cause of accidental death for 1 and 2 year olds.

But where are the parents?? Where is the supervision?? Where is COMMON SENSE??

Don't leave your children unattended in or near water. Always insist they wear life vests until they are proficient swimmers. Heck, our younger kids have to wear life vests even if they are just playing in the yard NEAR the pool.

You HAVE to keep your EYES on your children at all times around a swimming hole. PERIOD.

It's like driving with a cell phone. Nab the dummies that get into wrecks while using them, but leave me ALONE.

We know how to take care of our children. We know how to protect them around water. Please go watch your own children.

I think they just opened the pool gate. Shouldn't you go after them?